In-laws

In-laws. This topic can be a rather touchy subject for many people. I feel like my experience has been one that has ranged the gamut of emotions. There have been wonderful experiences with my in-laws and some downright horrible ones. The last thing I want to do is turn this post into a venting session of all the perceived wrong my mother-in-law has done in the 13 years I have known her, rather I want to discuss some of the positive and to also share an insight I felt several months ago that has helped me in forgiving past hurts.

I remember the first time I met my husband’s grandparents. We had been dating for a few weeks and his grandpa welcomed me right into the family. I felt like one of his granddaughters right from that first meeting. After we were married he always called me granddaughter. He and his wife have always been a big support system for us and when he died I felt it as strongly as when my own grandparents died. My husband’s grandmother is still alive and she has a great relationship with our children. I love that my children know their great grandmother and have a relationship with her even though we live 2000 miles apart. My husband’s parent are good people and even though we don’t see eye to eye on everything, they did an amazing job raising their son. I am so thankful for my husband and I am so thankful to his parents for raising him. I make sure and express that gratitude to them often. My husband’s parents Skype with our family almost every week, which means a lot to me since we live so far away and I want our children to have a good relationship with them. It means even more that they do this because my own parents have no desire to Skype or talk with them regularly. It actually breaks my heart, but I’m so grateful they have that with my husband’s parents.

A few months ago after a disagreement with my mother-in-law I reached out to her because I felt that it was important to make sure we were both ok and that there were no hard feelings. I remember specifically saying that I felt it was important that we talk and make things right because of my sealing to her son means I am also sealed to her. I feel that means something, it means we should strive to have an open, honest, and friendly relationship. I know we won’t always see eye to eye and that we may still have struggles, but I figure if we do the best we can here then it will be easier to forgive and love when we can see their intentions after this life when we have a greater understanding. When I made that connection I honestly found it easier to forgive and to work on having a relationship with her rather than just not worrying about a relationship at all.

I believe that my relationship with my husband comes first, always, before our extended families, but I am grateful that we had the love and support of our extended families.