Humility in Marriage

“Love is not a happy accident; it is a choice.”

            -H. Wallace Goddard

“A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers.”

            -Batesville, AR church, Aug. 25, 2003

“God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble.”

            -Ezra T. Benson

Humility in marriage is essential. I believe humility is essential in all aspects of life, but especially in marriage. This week in my marriage class we were assigned to read the talk, “Beware of Pride”, by Ezra T. Benson. This is a talk I have studied previously and every time I read it, I feel a greater desire to be more humble. I often think I should read this talk at least annually and then make adjustments as needed. I love this talk. President Benson listed different ways pride manifests itself in our lives: faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous. These are all things that can hurt any relationship, but especially a marriage. We need to be more mindful of these things and repent as is necessary and strive to do better and no longer do any of those things. Being humble makes forgiving other people possible. I have noticed in my own marriage, whenever I am frustrated with my husband or hurt by something he has done, I am usually able to resolve the problem by humbling myself and forgiving him before he even knows I am upset about anything. That isn’t always the case, sometimes it’s not that easy for me. But, I notice a big difference in my marriage when we are being humble and making a choice every day to forgive and love each other.

I love the above quote by C.S. Lewis. It applies so well to all relationships in your life, but mostly to marriage. One thing I am trying to do better is to think of my husband's needs more. In all that I have been learning in my marriage class I have made a goal to think each morning about what I can do that day to make him happy and to help his life be easier. I am seeing a great shift in my attitude as I do this. I notice I am able to be more forgiving and the little things he does that might annoy me, don't bother me as much. I'm very grateful for that.